The Casual Blog

Category: music

Winter’s Bone, a beautiful, powerful meth movie

Some years back I developed the view that the age of written fiction was almost over and being replaced by the age of cinema fiction. Would people continue to take on the hard work of reading a book if they could have same experience without so much effort? The experiences aren’t perfect substitutes, of course, but there’s overlap. I’m not so worried now about written fiction, which is diminished as a cultural force but still around. But it does worry me that cinema seems less vital and ambitious in recent times. Could the age of cinema be ending? What comes next? The age of YouTube? At any rate, I haven’t been tempted to go out to many movies this year, and haven’t seen many new ones that I really cared about on the small screen.

Winter’s Bone is a notable exception. We saw it on DVD Friday night, and it was great. The subject matter didn’t sound particularly promising — hardscrabble life in rural Missouri — but the movie manages to combine gritty realism with a dreamlike quality. Jennifer Lawrence’s performance is an understated tour de force. She plays Ree, a 17-year-old whose father has disappeared, whose mother has advanced dementia, and whose younger brother and sister are completely dependent on her. Then she is informed that their cabin will be foreclosed on because her father jumped bail, and sets out to find him.

The land and culture reminded me of my own ancestral roots in southern Appalachia. Just as in southwestern Virginia, along with the poverty, there were aspects of the Ozarks countryside that were beautiful and touching. The scene where working people gathered in a home to make traditional music with guitars, fiddle and banjo reminded me of sounds I heard in bits and pieces as a child when we visited grandparents. The music reaffirmed that the possibility of community still exists.

But a central part of the story of Winter’s Bone is about the breakdown of community and the tragic social effects of methamphetamine. Ree’s father was a cooker, and everyone connected with him is also connected directly or indirectly to the meth business. Most of them are angry, paranoid, depressed, violent people. Their family lives are unhappy, and their communities are fractured. But they have not lost all dignity.

The depiction of meth culture seemed realistic and unsensational, and consistent with a book I read a few months back, Nick Reding’s Methland, a non-fiction account of the effects of meth in small town America. Reding makes the case that meth has devastated parts of rural and small town America. He does a good job tying together the sociology with the biology, history, and economics, and tells some good, and sad, stories. Although the successive waves of official and popular drug scare stories (such as the dangers of marijuana, which never killed anyone) might make one skeptical that meth is exceptionally dangerous, Reding has evidence that it is, both to individual addicts and to communities.

Winter’s Bone tends to confirm that view, but it isn’t making an argument. It’s like other great fiction, in that it reveals a side of life that we couldn’t learn about through any other medium, and one that changes, at least a little, how we look at the world around us.

Thanksgiving in New York

There’s just something electric about New York City! Flying in last Wednesday, I passed close to the Statue of Liberty. Liberty! Then the splendid dense verticality lower Manhattan, and the gleaming skyscraping icons of midtown. It’s Oz!

The original plan for the Tiller clan to meet up for an urban Thanksgiving got off to a rocky start because Stuart, our dog, appeared to be dying. He threw up all over the apartment for a couple of days, and then spent several days in the animal hospital unable to eat. Exploratory abdominal surgery failed to yield a clear diagnosis, but made him weaker still. The day before we were scheduled to leave for NYC, Sally declared she couldn’t stand the thought of his being miserable and alone at the end. He’d been a beloved friend to us for eight years. So she decided to bring him home for hospice care. She urged me to proceed with the plan to meet the kids, who were already there, and so I headed north, with mixed feelings. (P.S. Stuart started improving the day after Sally brought him home and is still with us, frail but looking perkier every day.)

Wednesday afternoon I rendezvoused with Gabe and Jocelyn at the Hotel @ Times Square, a modestly priced (by NYC standards) but clean establishment at a great midtown location. Jocelyn was just back from two months backpacking in Columbia, Ecuador, and Peru, and I was delighted and relieved to see her. Not a day went by during her trip when I didn’t worry about her being kidnapped or worse. She seemed very chipper and glad to be back to the land of flush toilets and hot showers. Gabe came in from Colorado looking handsome, hale and hearty.

I was so glad to see them, and so glad to be back in NYC! When I lived there in my twenties, I could ordinarily not afford taxis, and it was satisfying to take many cab rides with the kids to share some of my favorite places. We went to the Metropolitan Museum and I introduced them to some of my favorite paintings, including the Vermeers. We checked out the amazing holiday windows in the shops on Fifth Avenue, and maneuvered through the mobs of people at Times Square.

On Thanksgiving morning, we’d planned to go to the Macy’s parade, which was passing just a block and a half to the west, but Jocelyn’s left eye was hurting badly, possibly from an infection. We watched a couple of big balloons (including Horton) go by, and then we went looking for medical care. With my iPhone I located an urgent care clinic close by, but it was closed, and the next one we tried was closed as well. We ended up in the emergency room of NYU Bellevue. I expected an endless wait, but it was not so bad. They got us in and out in a couple of hours, and Jocelyn started to feel better soon after.

For Thanksgiving dinner, we went to the upper west side and shared a fine meal with Sally’s brother Bill, his wife Mary Jane, and their daughter Carmen. Everyone was in high spirits, and I was most grateful that they provided delicious non-meat food. Bill was eager to hear more of Jocelyn’s South American journey, and she had some good stories of jungle adventures with snakes and spiders and marathon bus rides. Carmen, now thirteen, seemed amazingly grown up and well spoken. She’d just applied to an arts high school for both acting and piano performance, and played her audition piece, a Haydn sonata.

On Friday, we got a personal tour of the trading floor of the New York Stock Exchange and ate lunch in Chinatown. Late that afternoon, Gabe and I went to the Museum of Modern Art. Gabe was interested in Picasso and Van Gogh, and I never get tired of them. I also spent some time with the J. Pollocks. The big big drip painting finally clicked for me (goose bumps). We met Jocelyn and her friend Pam at a little Italian restaurant on the east side. Pam is an art world person and aspiring critic, and amazingly articulate, warm, and friendly. Gabe mentioned Andy Warhol, and it turned out Pam had some dense but fascinating ideas about him.

On Saturday afternoon, I took the kids to their first live opera at the Met, where we saw Carmen with Elina Garanca in the title role. She was smoking hot! Everything was truly wonderful — singing, sets, costumes, orchestra. And the story is still a bloody shocker. I was a little worried beforehand that the kids might not like it, which, especially in view of the ticket prices, would have been a bummer, but was not — they enjoyed it.

Gabe and Jocelyn had an early flight to Colorado on Sunday, so I was on my own for the last day. I went back to the Met in the morning and spent some time with the Greek and Roman antiquities, looked in on an exhibit of the work of Jan Gossart (Dutch Renaissance), and looked in again at the beloved Vermeers. Then I went to Lincoln Center to see the City Ballet’s Nutcracker.

After many Nutcrackers, I thought I was pretty much nutcrackered out for life, but it turned out not. Somehow it hit the sweet spot of pure joy and wonder. The dancing was delightful, the stagecraft was impressive, and the orchestra sounded great. The child dancers had more-than-usual charisma. Jennifer Ringer as the Sugarplum Fairy seemed a little flat at first, but was gorgeous in the pas de deux. Ashley Bouder was an exquisite Dew Drop. A few weeks earlier I’d ordered a piano version of the Tchaikovsky score and played through parts of it for fun, so I was particularly attentive to the music. It is a masterpiece.

After the ballet, I took a cab to 46th and 12th and visited the aircraft carrier Intrepid, the submarine Growler, and the Concorde. Impressive machines! The Intrepid is a proud veteran of WWII that played a significant role in the Pacific theater and survived some kamikaze hits. The sun was setting at the end of my tour, and the view of Manhattan was beautiful.

Copyright and musical creativity

One of the great things about my job as an intellectual property lawyer in a software company is that I get to play with some big ideas. Sometimes it’s fun. But I also have to deal head on with complex legal constructions that cause confusion and mischief. I’m thinking particularly of aspects of patent and copyright law. I’ve written a number of times, including this week on opensource.com, about the problem of bad software patents that hinder innovation. Another concern is the expansion of copyright law in a way that inhibits creativity.

I was fortunate to hear a lecture this week at Duke Law School by Jennifer Jenkins, who discussed aspects of copyright law as applied to music. She ambitiously took on the entire western tradition, starting with Plato, and was entertaining to boot. Although Jennifer didn’t summarize it like this, her examples suggested that copying has always been a part of the creative process in music. Laws against copying music are relatively recent, and they’re expanding and being applied at a more and more granular level. This blocks an important part of creative activity.

Viewing imitation and copying as creative forces is not the traditional way of thinking about creativity. But the traditional notion that technical innovation is principally the work of lone geniuses makes is largely a myth. There is no single inventive or creative act that does not actually incorporate a long series of preceding inventions or creations. If you look over the shoulders of James Watt, Eli Whitney, Thomas Edison, or the Wright Brothers, the inventions for which they are famous incorporated both many generations of preceding technology and the work of contemporaries. Brian Arthur, in The Nature of Technology looks at this process through the lens of evolutionary biology.

The same is true with music. Each creative musician takes the tools of preceding generations (scales, tunings, harmonic systems, instruments, notation systems, electronics, etc.) and tries to express something that’s both personal and universal. In some musical traditions, literal copying is an accepted procedure. This is certainly true in jazz and blues. It is difficult to imagine how either form could have developed unless later musicians borrowed from earlier ones. The same is true in the classical tradition, where composers borrow from other composers, and musician’s take the composer’s written text and performance norms of predecessors.

Jenifer threw out the idea that social control of music and reining in dangerous new sounds was a continuing theme of western civilization, from the Greeks, through the efforts of the Church in the middle ages, to the lawsuits against sampling by hip hop artists in our time. She pointed out that sampling technology made possible new forms of creativity, which our copyright system has quashed without any careful thought. Our repeated expansion of the term of copyrights has diminished the amount of material that our artists have to work with even as technology has expanded creative possibilities. Expanded copyright assures a wealth transfer from society at large to those with significant copyright assets, but serves no larger purpose. This policy really makes no sense as social engineering. And to the extent that it actually discourages and diminishes creativity, it’s just plain wrong.

The only consoling thought is that no amount of regulation will entirely stop the musical creativity. It is a fundamental human activity, like as eating and talking. If music were outlawed entirely, it would go underground, like alcohol in the prohibition era, or recreational drugs in our time. This may already have happened with certain genres of hip hop.

Until Jennifer’s talk, I hadn’t thought to consider myself particularly lucky that most of the music I work with is old enough to be in the public domain, so I’m not directly encumbered by the copyright problem. I refer to the great European piano music of the eighteenth, nineteenth, and early twentieth centuries. Although the music is written, there are many aspects of it that are unwritten. The tradition is passed along from teacher to student. It is a thoroughly unmodern, untechnological process. It’s a pleasing counterpoint to my highly modern day job.

For example, I got over to Durham again yesterday for a piano lesson with my teacher, Randall Love. Randy is an associate professor in the music department at Duke, and, like me, a graduate of Oberlin. (He was a year ahead of me, but our paths never crossed.) He has a speciality in fortepiano, and I originally went to him with a view to getting deeper into Bach. And I did. But in the past few years, he’s taken me much deeper into my current main interests: Chopin, Liszt, and Debussy. Our lessons are at irregular intervals, which I schedule when I feel it’s time to get significant feedback on a piece I’ve fallen in love with and tried to make my own. They usually last more than two hours. Although we begin by catching up on each other’s news, most of the lesson involves intense concentration and effort.

At the lesson yesterday, I departed from our recent pattern (no Liszt or Debussy) and brought Robert Schumann’s Arabeske Op. 18 and Chopin’s prelude in C. The Arabeske begins as a light, lyrical game but has sections of brooding and dreaming. I thought I played it rather well the first time through, but Randy found many aspects in need of closer examination, such as various ways to treat the appoggiatura. Although we mainly discussed musical issues, such as balance and phrasing, Randy had some interesting ideas relating to technique involving the wrist and arm. He recommended that I consider more arm focus when playing extremely soft.

After I’d played the music I’d prepared, Randy played for me one of Chopin’s most famous concert works, the third ballade. It’s a gorgeous piece of music, and I enjoyed his interpretation. It was a well modulated, thoughtful approach to the musical ideas, with ample sonority in the big parts. What a rare treat to get a personal performance by a concert artist.

Accessing a delightful comic opera

On Saturday I went to my first live opera in a movie theatre: Don Pasquale, transmitted live in HD from the Metropolitan Opera at Lincoln Center to Raleigh’s North Hills Shopping Center (among hundreds of other theatres around the globe). When I lived in New York, I sometimes bought the best tickets I could afford for the Met, which were for standing room. There were always people who left after act one, so it was usually possible to get a good orchestra seat for the rest of the show. And so I learned that the Met is a magical place, with some of the most incredible singing on the planet, and also some of the most astonishing stagecraft. It was great to be back.

I put my interest in opera on the back burner after leaving New York for law school, and with the normal pressures of career and parenthood it fell off the priority list. I’ve come back to it recently with fresh enthusiasm. Part of the reason was my passion for the piano music of Chopin. He enjoyed what we know as the bel canto repertory (Donizetti, Bellini, Rossini), and I started listening to that music to better understand his musical thinking. It’s a kind of time travel, a visit to another culture that’s both submerged and still alive. A lot of bel canto music is not particularly deep, but it is charming and at times brilliant.

Sally took her tennis team to the state finals in Winston-Salem this week, and so was not able to go to Don Pasquale. Diane, Sally’s mom, is a big opera buff, and we went to the show together. I sent an email to the Red Hat local employees’ list offering her ticket for free, and Roger H. accepted. I had not reckoned on how difficult it would be to find parking at North Hills, and we ended up running late. Roger came to the rescue. As we circled the parking lot, he called my cell, and said he was saving good seats for us.

James Levine conducted. The camera faced him as he did the overture. He was very expressive, at times smiling, at times heroic, and full of enthusiasm. He’s had many health problems recently, and I felt privileged to see him, especially in this revealing aspect. He’s a national treasure.

Don Pasquale, which was new to me and to others I talked to, is the 64th of Donizetti’s 66 operas, first produced in 1843 (when Chopin was 33). It’s a comedy that concerns young lovers’ efforts to overcome the aged don, who fancies himself a young lover, and unite. The plot is not especially intricate or elegant, but the main characters are funny and lively, and the music is a masterpiece of the tuneful bel canto genre. Anna Netrebko was fabulous as Norina — flirtatious and sexy, even if she had put on a few pounds, and with an amazingly powerful and flexible voice. Barry Banks was Ernesto, her lover, and though his character was less interesting, his singing was very musical. John Del Carlo was hilarious as the Don. The photography was skillful, with varied angles and close-ups, and the sound quality was good. There were English subtitles. The music was delightful throughout.

Between scenes, the broadcast showed the work backstage on scene changes. I love backstage views, and getting a close up of how the magic works at this state-of-the-art theatre was fascinating. There were also good-natured interviews by Susan Graham with the principals. We also had a chance to get to know Roger, who grew up in Hong Kong, and briefed us on the music scene there. He said he really enjoyed the show.

Opera is an acquired taste. Once acquired, it’s incredibly enjoyable, but initially, it can seem mannered, strange, or boring. The audience for opera has always been limited, partly because it’s been so difficult to try it out and get accustomed to its conventions. It’s wonderful that the Met is using HD simulcasts of high quality to multiply by orders of magnitude the opportunities to experience this great art. I expect there will be many who try it and like it. I’m looking forward to seeing many more.

Surviving political disappointments, and a note on my piano

For those like me whose political views face in a progressive direction, this has been a tough week. It’s really difficult to comprehend how so many people can get so bamboozled. Right-wing crackpots have beat the drum loudly for lower taxes for the rich, less of a health care safety net, punishing hardworking immigrants, smaller “government,” and assorted “moral” causes. The messages don’t seem to me to have much content, reasonable basis, or persuasive power, but it doesn’t seem to matter.

I can see how going along with the right-wingers accords with the self-interest of the wealthy few. And I can also see how people who’ve lost their livelihoods and face economic hardship are desperate, angry, and susceptible to demagoguery. But there are lots of others — sincere, well-meaning folks who this week voted against both reason and rational self-interest. This is hard to figure. It seems that Churchill was right: democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the known alternatives.

But we survived the Homer Simpson-like sunny nuttiness of the Reagan years and the fear-mongering ignorance, cynicism, and sheer dopiness of the Bush years. As bad as the situation looks at the moment, as painful as it is to think of the triumph of organized corruption and the huge problems that will not be addressed any time soon, most of us will likely survive for a good while. People will continue to be born, grow up, get married, have kids. People will continue to fall in love with each other, with ideas, with art, and with the beauty of the world. It’s good that this is so.

So I’ve been doing a little work on my cocoon. My most prized possession, my Steinway A grand piano, needed tuning this week. For many years I wanted a Steinway, and managed to buy mine by selling my Yamaha grand and adding money I inherited when my mother died four years ago. My mom was the first person I ever heard sing or play a piano, and she sang constantly as she did housework or ran errands throughout my childhood. Along with the words of every funny camp song or show tune she ever learned (dozens or hundreds), I got from her her love of music — a great gift. I think of her with love when I think of my piano, which is every day.

My regular piano technician for the past few years, Phil Romano, has also been working as Paul McCartney’s piano tech for his concert tours. This is cool — I like having a practical musical connection to Sir Paul — but has limited Phil’s availability. Phil was headed out of town for that gig when I called him a couple of weeks ago and couldn’t work me in, so I scheduled a tuning with Richard Ruggero. Richard has a great reputation as a piano dealer and technician, and turned out to be a very nice guy. He plays the piano himself, and quickly noted three or four keys that had minor shortcomings that he could improve. I was happy with his tuning, and agreed to get him back over to work on the nits.

It is one of life’s great pleasures to play on a freshly-tuned Steinway grand. That evening, I played some of my favorite Chopin — a couple of waltzes and the etude op. 10, no. 3. Also, some of my favorite Debussy (the first arabesque) and Liszt (Sonnetto del Petrarca No. 47). I also worked a little on two current projects, Schumann’s arabeske op. 18 and Debussy’s Reflets dans l’eau. All of this music is gorgeous, and some of it so transcendent that it gives me goosebumps. I felt happy.

Glee, pure fun and more

For me, watching Glee started out as a sort of a guilty pleasure. It was undeniably fun, but I couldn’t see much socially redeeming value. It seemed sort of like American Idol but with professional-level pop singing. There was a wittiness about it, but the action was highly stylized, and the concerns seemed very far from mine. Regardless, I found myself deeply enjoying the dancing and pop songs, including ones I’d thought of as silly and trite. This was a bit disconcerting. But I gradually set aside my notions of good taste and just got into it.

In the last couple of weeks, the show has surprised me again, by taking on some twisting its stereotypes into new shapes. The gay guy, Kurt, had previously struck me as basically a standard gay sitcom character, present primarily for laughs and avoiding causing any real offense. But when he declared last week, after his father had a heart attack, that he didn’t believe in God, and refused to compromise on that position. There was definitely some edginess. The only group in America less beloved than gays is atheists. And this week, Kurt flamed at the straight world in a hard, in-your-face way. This was gayness with some pride and even arrogance, intended to provoke discomfort. Then we saw, suddenly, his loneliness, and his surprising courage and creativity.

I wasn’t as wowed by the musical numbers as in some previous episodes, but I was really cheered to see something original and a little risky. My cable service offers hundreds of channels, but it seems that at any given moment most are showing advertisements or content even less interesting than advertisements. When I’m too tired to do anything but a bit of channel surfing before bed, I often feel like I can’t find a single channel that isn’t showing something that I’ve seen in some form many many times before. Vast swathes of TV land are a moral, artistic, and intellectual desert. But every now and again, as with Glee, one comes upon an oasis.

Starting the weekend with some exercise and music

Late Friday afternoon I returned some phone calls, cleaned out my e-mail queue, checked my to-do list one last time, jammed some weekend work in my book bag, and did the short drive home. Sally had left for a tennis tournament, but had first fed the animals, so they were sleepy. I played the piano for a few minutes and moved to a different mind zone — a Chopin nocturne (D flat major), a Debussy prelude (La cathedrale engloutie), Liszt’s Sonneto del Petrarca 47. I also played J. Strauss’s Blue Danube waltzes in honor of the poor Danube, currently under assault by toxic sludge. I filled a small plate with some leftover pepper casserole and brown rice, warmed it in the microwave, poured a glass of pinot gris, and had a quiet, delicious dinner.

Then I walked over to hear the N.C. Symphony do the first fall concert of our series. It was a lovely fall evening, mild and clear, and I savored the walk. This is one of the pleasant things about living in downtown Raleigh. There were two new buildings going up along the way, and people on Fayetteville Street eating dinner at sidewalk tables or walking about.

I had an unusually strong sense of physical well being. It was a good week for exercising — no travel or serious time crunches at work — so I’d gotten up at 5:30 a.m. every day to either swim a freestyle mile (2x), do a yoga class, or take a spinning class (2x). Spinning is still new to me, and I’m still enthusiastic — it’s an amazing aerobic workout. The basic idea of stationary bike plus music, rhythmic movement, group activity, and a cheerleading coach previously struck me as not at all my style, but it is remarkably effective in (a) raising my heartrate, (b) making me sweat, and (c) leaving me feeling pleasantly endorphinized.

With fall in the air, I’m looking forward to winter, and skiing in Colorado, and I’m using ski thoughts for extra workout motivation. Last year the hour-long climb in the snow at over 12,000 feet up the narrow ridge to Highlands Bowl at Aspen Highlands taught my body a brutal lesson it won’t soon forget. I was, in truth, too whipped to attack the long double black diamond run from the top, but there was no alternative way down. I survived, but next year I hope to do more than merely survive such situations — to exult! That may be too much to hope for. It will always be difficult to go from a few hundred feet above sea level one day to vigorous activity at several thousand feet the next, but I’m looking to be in better shape next season and bettering my odds.

At a leisurely pace, it took 23 minutes to walk to the concert hall. (Afterwards I picked up the pace and got home in under 20.) I was interested to hear Rachmaninoff’s first piano concerto. The composer was still a student when he made it, but it has the seeds of the more familiar and almost too gorgeous second concerto. It is certainly a virtuoso showpiece, and Jean-Philippe Collard played it with power and authority. I was mainly interested in the second half of the concert, a performance of Sibelius’s Fifth Symphony, a piece I was not familiar with. It was strange and beautiful, with novel and varied textures, and diverging moods. It approached the richness of Mahler. There were good loud places, where the brass expressed themselves fully, and a fine solo for the bassoon. I plan to get a recording and listen to it some more.

Young lives lost, and a note on homophobia

One of the things I like about my morning newspaper is the obituaries. I paid no attention to them in my younger days, and thought it odd that older people read them. Then, somehow, I got older, and became sort of a fan. Many are pro forma statements, but as a group, they give some clues as to how people manage grief. Every now and again, there is an account of someone who apparently lived a life that enriched the lives of those surviving, and those cheer me up.

But the obits I tend to focus on are those involving young people. Old people are supposed to die eventually, but not young people, so there’s always an element of tragedy. Every now and again, I get a sobering dose of pain, as when a death looks like it could have been a child of my own. There was one such this week — a young woman named Grace White from Cary (like use, until recently), who’d just graduated from N.C. State (like my dear Jocelyn), worked in Hemlock Bluffs Nature Center (where I’ve been many times), who died in a wakeboarding accident on Harris Lake. Apparently she hit her head hard in a fall and had a fatal brain injury. Her dad is speaking out on the dangers of wakeboarding without a helmet. I am so very sorry for his loss.

This week the suicide of Tyler Clementi, an 18-year-old violinist at Rutgers University, became a national story that also seemed close to home. Clementi jumped from the George Washington Bridge into the Hudson after his roommate posted a video on the internet of him kissing another male. Much of the commentary has focussed on the effects of bullying and the power of the web. But the story is surely in part about homophobia. The reluctance of the mainstream press to treat this aspect of tragedy directly is dispiriting.

I keep thinking we may have turned the corner on homophobia, but Clementi’s death is a reminder that it’s alive and well. The resistance to gay marriage has weakened, but a major segment of the population is still fearful of gays, and there are still politicians (including gay ones) who exploit this fear. One of the hardy perennial fear narratives is conflating gay sex between consenting adults with deviants who prey on children. I think such myths are gradually losing their power as more people realize that gays are normal people with normal ethics who pose no special threat. Everyone knows and gets along with gay people, whether they know it or not. But there are still minds that need to be changed. The Clementi tragedy reminds us that this is an urgent matter, because some lives are at risk.

One aspect of the story that made it more personal for me was the fact that Clementi apparently was a talented music student. In my time as music student at N.C. School of the Arts and Oberlin Conservatory, I knew many gay students, and came to understand that gays are major contributors to our artistic life. Just as gay friends have enriched my life, gays have made our society richer.

I have a theory as to why gays are so important in the arts. Artistic expression involves emotional exposure that runs counter to male stereotypes. Stereotypical American males don’t say much about their inner feelings. Art goes against this grain, since it involves exposing feelings. You don’t have to be gay to be an artist, and plainly being gay will not make you an artist. But the willingness to reject stereotypes is something gays almost have to have, and that type of courage is helpful for an artist.

I’d guess that Clementi had not worked through and accepted his sexuality, and so he was probably particularly vulnerable to cruel homophobic gibes. That sort of behavior, and homophobic thinking, has got to stop. It could help to speak up on the issue, and invite others to examine their prejudices. I’ll say it, though it probably rules out any chance of elected office: gays are good for our society. Or to put it in bumperstickerese: gay is good.

Welcome to fall and a new ballet season

Of the four seasons, fall is my favorite. Finally there’s a break in the hot weather, and the cooler temperatures make it easier to move. Days shorten, leaves change their colors, and migrant birds flock and prepare to move south. Harvest time is at hand. And the new arts season begins.

Our first event of the new arts season was Carolina Ballet’s performance last Friday of a program entitled Firebird. I was sorry to see the there were a good many empty seats. The audience is an important part of a performance. Those of us without dance training have a role to perform — that is, the audience role, absorbing and responding. I always feel like a better person after the ballet, with posture at least temporarily improved.

Why were there empty seats in Fletcher Hall? I do not know. People squander their precious life hours on the most amazingly nonsense yet pass up such richness close at hand. At any rate, those who made it were well rewarded. There were strong new works by Weiss and Bourtasenkov, as well as the repertory masterpiece set to the great Stravinsky score. And of course, the incredibly talented, disciplined, beautiful dancers.

As a Mahler fan, I was especially interested in Weiss’s new Sturmische Liebe, a pas de deux to a Mahler chamber piece with Lara O’Brien and Alain Molina. It was taut and tragic to the danger point, as though the end of love could only mean the end of life. It seemed to draw on the spirit of tango. I admired Lara’s intensity and her total immersion in the character, which was so somber that I briefly forgot it was acting and worried she might be a danger to herself.

I also particularly enjoyed the very different new Weiss piece Moving Life, a non-story to three enigmatic works by Erik Satie. Part of the music, the Gymnopedies, was familiar to me from a marathon performance I helped with years ago, and I went home after the show and ordered the sheet music online from Sheet Music Plus. Peggy Severin Hansen was again magnificent as the Firebird, in many regards birdlike — astonishingly light and quick, yet elegant and powerful.

Sal and I spotted Lola Cooper at the second intermission with a cast on her foot. She greeted us warmly and brought us up to date on her news. She’d had surgery a few weeks before to address a congenital bone problem. She seemed upbeat about the good progress she was making on her rehabilitation. It has to be so difficult for a dancer with such dedication to be sidelined even for a few weeks.

After the performance, Sally and I parted temporarily, she to hunt for her Mini Cooper and I my Clara. There was a street fair on Wilmingstreet called SparkCON. I spent a few minutes watching performers dancing with fire to African drumming. I couldn’t figure out how a flaming hula hoop didn’t case burns. It was fun to see the street performers, and I would have given them a few dollars if they’d asked.

A musical dinner party

We had a small dinner party on Saturday night for some old friends. Sally put a lot of thought and work into the food, and I organized the music, including both recordings and some of my own piano playing. I’ve come to think that a musician’s work is inherently social. This isn’t completely obvious, since so much of the work consists of individual, solitary practice. It is possible to enjoy music alone, although even this has a social aspects, since it involves interacting with the musical ideas of others (composers, editors, previous performers).

But a musician’s conception that doesn’t get communicated is not quite complete. It’s like a meal prepared with infinite care which no one tastes. Listeners complete the musical circuit that runs from abstract idea to human emotion. Just as a meal is just an abstraction if it isn’t eaten, a musical conception isn’t really music until someone listens.

So I was happy that our friends let me share with them some of my musical ideas regarding Chopin and Debussy. I played the Minute Waltz, the D flat Nocturne (Op. 27, No. 2), and Clair de Lune, and managed to make some beautiful sonorities. There were some memory lapses, which I was not pleased about, but I recognized them as minor and didn’t get discombobulated.

Having listeners always changes the musician’s mental processing. It can cause greater inspiration and concentration, but it also causes greater stress, and sometimes system failure. The possibility of losing one’s grip and falling is part of the business of climbing, and the possibility of losing one’s place is part of the business of musical performance. It is strange, though, when it happens. The keys suddenly look completely unfamiliar, and the hands are paralyzed with uncertainty. It’s a terrible feeling. But it happens, and the only thing to do is move on. Despite the problems, I was glad I made the effort, and grateful to my listeners for completing the musical circuit.

Sally’s cooking was delicious, and there was plenty of laughter and lively conversation. Tony Judt, the historian and author of Postwar (a great book about the aftermath of WW II) who died of ALS last week, once said that talking was the point of adult experience. It certainly is a great pleasure to talk with kindred spirits about things we care about passionately.

At work last week I took a short class on the subject of “crucial conversations,” which was about how to communicate better when stakes and emotions are high. The class included a little film by a middle schooler who replicated Solomon Asch’s conformity experiment. In the experiment, the subject is told that there is a test of visual perception, and asked to compare the length of one straight line to another. The subject hears several people who are secretly in on the experiment give answers that are clearly wrong, and then, most often, agrees with the clearly wrong answer. The point is, most people go along with the group, even when they think the group is wrong. Those who are willing to trust their own perceptions and buck the group are a minority.

Why does this happen? Is it intellectual insecurity? The fear of being ostracized? It’s possible to imagine a certain evolutionary advantage might accrue to those that maintained stable groups with uniform, though wrong, ideas, so that their band was more effective in hunting, say, the woolly mammoth. But it’s also possible that a huge evolutionary disadvantage from group think that prevented admitting and addressing such global problems as the disastrous war on drugs or global warming from CO2 emissions.

Whether we admit it or not, we all struggle with the pressure to conform to the group, but some of us put up more of a fight than others. Our friends would probably be in the minority of Asch’s test subjects that was willing to go against the grain and voice their true thoughts. It makes for much more lively conversation. Before we knew it, four hours had flown by, and it was time to say good night.